Thursday, July 19, 2007

questioning expectations

Why do we expect something from others if/when we do? When we give/love/like/miss/befriend with someone, do we really need to expect something in return? Is the answer 'yes' or 'no'?

'yes' scenario:
If it is 'yes', do one expect the return also in terms of quantity? does one expect more or less in return? when one gives ..., does one always expect something? Is one gonna expect something with interest in return? If one doesn't get anything in return, does one regret or need to regret for giving/loving/liking/missing/befriending with someone? Does one think it's gone wasted then? Since this is a 'yes' scenario, the assumption of its being is that of mundane quality or behavior. Thus, the traits like selfishness and other impurities need not be addressed as it is inbuilt onto it. Rather, the intensity of hurt would come into play when the expectations are not met. And that'll link and invite all other forms/sources of unhappiness.

'no' scenario:
Ironically, this can rather become a complex problem than the earlier scenario. Even if the expectations are being met, admitting of having no expectations could cause the suffering to others. There's one word called 'unconditional'; it was so entertaining to talk about it. How easy it was to read and dicuss about it without even understanding the meaning of it, and how hard it is to to accept and transform oneself onto it; ah, how beautiful the word 'unconditional' is, how pure the word does sound, and how good it would be to give unconditionally.

14 comments:

basanta said...

'No' scenario may exist for someone who has 'achieved'. Man is a 'selfish' animal, so 'yes' scenario is the default one.

Smita said...

Catch 22! - but when men are involved I think NO expectations is the best tactic. Between women! No matter how much you expect and how much you give - there is always a mismatch ;D

hope and love said...

its always better to expect nothing.. but its practicaly very difficult..

Prajwol said...

Yes, it's hard not to expect in return. It's like if you have input and not get the out put, machine wont be efficient.

Y Gyan! said...

We can start to expect nothing when we are truly happy inside--or that's my take. I went to a 10-day vipassana camp recently and I learned so much about all this. I highly recommend it. I got my answer.

dharmabum said...

u've summed it up - 'yes' is the existing scenario. 'no' would be the ideal.

for me, the key is not so much to not expect, but to try and be unperturbed if and when the expectations are not met :)

weyouth said...

no comments about life now days i know whats life.

wanderlust said...

i wonder whether a 'no'scenario exists for anyone. even a mother's love would have some expectations.

samrina said...

Hi Anitya,

Very well written post and i do agree with your point of view dear.

What i believe is:

HAPPINESS = REALITY - EXPECTATIONS.

So its better to expect less as much you can if you really wanna be happy though i except the fact that expectations are natural.

Hope you are doing fine there.

Take care

nnepali said...

Welcoming evolution with the 'selfish gene', thats all we need to know !! hehe :)

weyouth said...

this is life. you never know what comes next.

Hayah said...

As human's we all HOPE deep down to expect something in return, a mother hopes love from her children, the people some respect from their government. The degree of hope and expectation is the question, some less it may seem nothing, some more....

But its a very thouhgt provoking argument! g8 writeup!

dharmabum said...

u've stopped writing or what?

unrevealed said...

liked your article very much...
but both the scenarios don't help..
the 'no' scenario is impossible to achieve; the 'yes' scenario again comes with trouble and unhapiness..